When We Are Hurt

Healing & Practical Tips for Healthy Relationships

Why Do We Hurt?

Manage your behaviour. When we are hurt we can want revenge, or to hurt the other person. Such intrusive thinking is not ‘bad’. Thoughts are just thoughts. But if you actually turn such thoughts into actions, you can end up more hurt than you already were, disliked, and full of regret. TRY THIS: Ask a friend to be a support buddy who you can turn to and call when you are feeling like you might do behaviours you regret. Agree to time each call to five minutes (you don’t want to use them like a dumping ground). If you don’t have anyone to talk to, consider a counsellor. This website and its content is copyright of Harley Therapy Ltd. - © 2006-2023 https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/. All rights reserved.

Emotional hurt can be comprised of many different feelings. Have you ever felt that you were crushed, deprived, ridiculed, devalued, pained, cheated, or damaged? These are just a few words that can describe hurt feelings. We have all felt hurt at some time or another in our lives. People have done things to hurt us many times in our lives as well as we have probably done things to hurt others many times in our lives. The good thing is that we are still here to talk about it, to work through it and to keep on living a positive life. So, how can we conquer hurt feelings?

How We Cope

The bad side of experiencing hurt is when we don’t work through it, when we don’t learn from it and move on, we continue to hurt ourselves and those around us. Hurt makes us bitter when we let it pile up on us, hurt makes us defensive, and hostile. We tend to push people away from us when we are in a defensive mode.

But we can learn from hurt, and we must if we intend to grow.  Learning from hurt is the work of The Spirit,  and we grow through the grace and power of God, to forgive others, not necessarily for the person who hurt us, but for ourselves; We all know forgiving others is not an easy thing to do.

Does your hurt seem boundless? Is it a preoccupation you can’t seem to kick? Perhaps friends have mentioned that you seem to be making a mountain out of a slight or injustice they consider small. Confronting and unpacking these feelings is the first step back to a healthy emotional balance. The phrase, “what would Jesus do!” can be a tool we use to help us during trying times. The name of Jesus brings us to scripture for guidance and to our knees for honest prayer. There, the Word of God can enlarge our viewpoint, and remind us of the presence and promises of God.

Feeling Left Out

Denise’s friend Jean had an invitation-only birthday celebration. Janey never received an invitation to the event even though most of her other friends did. From that time forward Janey has held a distance from Jean, and all the other friends who attended the birthday celebration.

Slighted, offended, neglected, invalidated, humiliated, laughed at and disrespected are just a few of the hurt feelings that she might have felt.

Below on this page, we offer tools that anyone who is hurting can use to confront these feelings and move forward. Read on…

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.

Jeremiah 33:6

Arise, cry out in the night, at the beginning of the night watches! Pour out your heart like water before the presence of the Lord!

I John 1:9

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not…, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15

Confronting Hurt Feelings Victoriously

Les Brown “Getting Unstuck”

In this video, motivational speaker, mentor and teacher, Les Brown, offers personal insight into the ways life’s challenges can leave us stuck. Then with humor and practical wisdom, he recommends how we can move through some of the steps below to find our way through and out of emotional hurt, injustices, and even tragedies in our lives. In addition to general guidelines below, Mr. Brown offers specific strategies on how to cope with hurt and move forward with intentionality.

Two of VABC’s professional psychiatric nurses, Lori Cook, MSN, RN, PMHCNS-BC and Nadene Peters-Jones, RN, MA, PMH-BC-Retired, research and compose these practical and encouraging ministry updates. Working together, they  offer concrete tools to help us recognize the signs of debilitating psychological challenges common to highly stressful circumstances. Stay tuned to this page to learn more about the upcoming VABC Health Fair.